


Internet Investment

by IShipMyFriendsSometimes



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Avatar spoilers, Chaotic kuwei, College AU, F/F, He deserves cash for dealing with kaz, M/M, Mayonnaise Matt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Wylan is the best friend, Wylan thirsts over a fishman, groupchat, i love them, i should be sorry but im not, lego ninjago references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IShipMyFriendsSometimes/pseuds/IShipMyFriendsSometimes
Summary: Nina's wildin', Wylan is gay, Inej is also gay, Matthias thinks that nothing can hurt him as long as he has God and anime on his side, Jesper is vibing, and Kaz is not having it.Or,That one gay group chat fic with occasional paragraphs.
Relationships: Inej Ghafa/Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Matthias Helvar
Comments: 46
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

kaz created the group Heist Plan

kaz added can't catch these hands, Spiderwoman, ★Sharpshooter★, and waffle_bitch into the chat

kaz: we're having a heist

can't catch these hands: k what we stealing

kaz: hot topic?

★Sharpshooter★: Stealing is bad! Kazzzzz!

kaz: no listen hot topic is having a sale so it's practically a _steal_

★Sharpshooter★: I

★Sharpshooter★: That was so good yesss

kaz: you have low standards

waffle_bitch: yo kaz who these people in this chat

kaz: #announcement

Spiderwoman: I see I've been added to a chat

Spiderwoman: Again

can't catch these hands: my notifs b goin off

★Sharpshooter★: They do be going off

kaz: shush i used the hashtag to give you notifs, that's how it works on this app, anyways

kaz: i wanted to say that everyone in this chat is my friend, spiderwoman is my friend inej from the hot topic, waffle_bitch is my longtime friend nina from summer camp, sharpshooter is my best friend jesper since kindergarten and can't catch these hands is wylan, a friend from that one time i got to meet the governor

★Sharpshooter★: That's the most words I've seen from you ever

Spiderwoman: Agreed

can't catch these hands: i already forgot all the names

waffle_bitch: yeah me too

★Sharpshooter★: It's nice to meet you all!

waffle_bitch: nice to meet you too!

kaz: this is too much positivity stop it

waffle_bitch: stop it u emo

waffle_bitch: i _will_ g note u

kaz: inconsistent use of you and u I see

★Sharpshooter★: Lack of capitalization I see

★Sharpshooter★: Wait sorry, Nina

waffle_bitch: nah ur good

kaz: jesper i will send pictures of u in that dinosaur suit

★Sharpshooter★: YOU WOULDN'T

Spiderwoman: The inflatable kind?

kaz: no lol it's a suit with a dinosaur pattern

can't catch these hands: im intrigued

waffle_bitch: me too sorry jay

★Sharpshooter★: Jay?

waffle_bitch: is that not ur name?

★Sharpshooter★: no??

kaz: lol

waffle_bitch: jayden

★Sharpshooter★: no

waffle_bitch: Jake

★Sharpshooter★: No

waffle_bitch: that one guy from twilight uhhh what's his name

waffle_bitch: oh jacob

★Sharpshooter★: I'm not a gay werewolf

★Sharpshooter★: only half of my previous statement applies

waffle_bitch: bro,,, u a werewolf??

★Sharpshooter★: lol no I was trying to say that I'm bi actually but close enough

waffle_bitch: oh I didn't want to assume

waffle_bitch: but honestly me too

★Sharpshooter★: Really?

waffle_bitch: yeah!

★Sharpshooter★: ^_^

kaz: ok gay time is over

waffle_bitch: gay time is never over

waffle_bitch: bitch

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah Kaz, gay time has no end

kaz: no it's over

Spiderwoman: Lol Kaz, gay time can't end. Go back to your emo music please.

can't catch these hands: oo she used periods

★Sharpshooter★: Don't worry, he's just jealous of gay time… unless?

kaz: im not gay

kaz: im not

kaz: im 100% straight

waffle_bitch: that's a lot of "im not" but okay then

★Sharpshooter★: Whatever dude

can't catch these hands: everyone is probably a little gay

★Sharpshooter★: Exactly!

kaz: [IMAGE]

kaz: its you in a dinosaur suit

kaz: bitch

★Sharpshooter★: KAZ NO (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)

waffle_bitch: wow nice suit pfft

Spiderwoman: Please say this was at least on a dare

★Sharpshooter★: It was not :'(

can't catch these hands: hot

waffle_bitch: agreed, what an attractive outfit on you, jason

★Sharpshooter★: Y'all making fun of me, this is sad (╥﹏╥) 

can't catch these hands: actually I wasn't-

★Sharpshooter★: My name isn't Jason

waffle_bitch: jeremiah

★Sharpshooter★: no

★Sharpshooter★: Do you want me to tell you??

waffle_bitch: no I wanna figure it out

kaz: josiah

★Sharpshooter★: You actually know what it is!

kaz: yeah but being mean to you is kinda funny

waffle_bitch: justin

★Sharpshooter★: :'(((((

★Sharpshooter★: Nope

Spiderwoman: You could scroll back up…

waffle_bitch: yeah but im lazy and that takes effort

Spiderwoman: I'll do it for you if you want

waffle_bitch: no I wanna guesssss :(((

★Sharpshooter★: Kaz, delete the other message, whoever guesses it first will get another more recent picture of me in the dinosaur suit

kaz: done

waffle_bitch: damn i gotta win

waffle_bitch: give me a few minutes

Spiderwoman: Jacardi

★Sharpshooter★: no?

waffle_bitch: josh

★Sharpshooter★: Definitely not

can't catch these hands: oh wait, the winner gets a selfie?

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah

waffle_bitch: in the ✨ dinosaur suit ✨

can't catch these hands: jasper

★Sharpshooter★: Ooh, you're really close

kaz: y'all are just barely missing it

Spiderwoman: Jebediah

★Sharpshooter★: Ew, no

waffle_bitch: james

★Sharpshooter★: no

★Sharpshooter★: Do you guys want a hint?

waffle_bitch: never!

Spiderwoman: Hmm, not really, I think we can get it…

waffle_bitch: but tomorrow bc now im sleep

Spiderwoman: We should all sleep, since we're all in college, correct?

waffle_bitch: yup

★Sharpshooter★: Yes

kaz: definitely

waffle_bitch: night y'all

★Sharpshooter★: Goodnight! :)

Spiderwoman: Night, sleep well

  
  
  
  


~~~~ 3:46 A.M. ~~~~

  
  
  
  


can't catch these hands: jesper

can't catch these hands: it's jesper


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to one of my friends who took exams! Love you!

★Sharpshooter★: So I guess you won, uhm, was it Wylan?

can't catch these hands: i did? oh wow

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah, so I guess I'll dm you the pic later today

can't catch these hands: sounds good!!!

  
  


waffle_bitch has added Xx~God_and_anime~xX to The Heist

  
  


★Sharpshooter★: Hello!

waffle_bitch: oops shit added bae

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Is that an issue?

waffle_bitch: noooo i love u babe this is my boyfriend guys!!!

Spiderwoman: Oh, nice to meet you then?

kaz: is this the man with the cockroach costume

★Sharpshooter★: coCKROACH COSTUME?

waffle_bitch: no kaz, that was like three guys ago

waffle_bitch: this is matthias

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Yeah.

can't catch these hands: so he isn't the cockroach gay?

can't catch these hands: guy*

Spiderwoman: Oh cool, I guess

kaz: cockroach gay

★Sharpshooter★: Cockroach gay lmaooo that's so good

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I am not a homosexual. I am dating Nina.

kaz: ok is he a robot

waffle_bitch: no lol this is us together

waffle_bitch: [IMAGE]

★Sharpshooter★: Y'all cute aww

Spiderwoman: You're kind of cute

waffle_bitch: me, or him or us?

Spiderwoman: Yes

waffle_bitch: ???

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Ok.

can't catch these hands: kind of rude ngl

★Sharpshooter★: You're so right

Spiderwoman: How to break up relationship

Spiderwoman: Shit, this isn't google

kaz: oh?? we googling to ruin things now??

Spiderwoman: Shut up, Kazhole

kaz: kazhole?

can't catch these hands: kaz is a synonym for ass

Spiderwoman: *High fives Wylan*

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: You don't seem to capitalize, Can't Catch These Hands. Do you happen to be dyslexic?

waffle_bitch: y'all im so sorry

Spiderwoman: I-

kaz: he typed out wylan's user im crying

★Sharpshooter★: oh no, Wylan's been typing for awhile

can't catch these hands: okay, 1, rude, 2, rude asf, and 3, I hope u choke on a dick and when the person cums I hope u continue choking and realize you're bi and mean to everyone because of that repressed attraction to men ur literally so rude to everyone and honestly I hope that u end up with someone as stupid as kaz

kaz: hey!

kaz: im not even gay

Spiderwoman: That's what you got out of that?

★Sharpshooter★: That was kinda hot

waffle_bitch: sis went off 👏👏👏😤

waffle_bitch: lmao matt u deserved it

waffle_bitch: bitch

can't catch these hands: 😳

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I am not gay, nor am I trying to date Kaz.

★Sharpshooter★: Wait, who isn't gay on this chat? Being Bi counts for the purpose of this survey.

kaz: im not

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I am not.

★Sharpshooter★: Gay time?

waffle_bitch: definitely gay time

Spiderwoman: That seems like the best course of action

can't catch these hands: gay rightsss

waffle_bitch: gay rIGHTS 👊😌

Spiderwoman: Gay rights

★Sharpshooter★: Gay rughts

★Sharpshooter★: Rights*

waffle_bitch: rughts

kaz: rughts

can't catch these hands: rughts

Spiderwoman: Rughts

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Why are we all typing "rughts"?

waffle_bitch: smh matttt

waffle_bitch: u ruined the joke

can't catch these hands: bitch

waffle_bitch: *high fives wylan* thank u i appreciate this

★Sharpshooter★: Wow, Wylan is getting a lot of high fives today

can't catch these hands: can i get one from u too?

★Sharpshooter★: Of course!! *High fives Wylan*

can't catch these hands: :D

kaz: oh I realized im the only one who knows how everyone looks

kaz: can we all send selfies then

kaz: [IMAGE]

waffle_bitch: ew

Spiderwoman: Tell me about it, we used to date

can't catch these hands: ewww

★Sharpshooter★: Oh, I think I met you that one time!

Spiderwoman: Yeah, I think we did. I was surprised Kaz had friends

kaz: hey!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: If it makes you feel any better, I think you look good, Kaz.

kaz: thank you matthias i appreciate this

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Matt is fine.

waffle_bitch: wtf am i looking at

waffle_bitch: matt can make friends?

★Sharpshooter★: Lol

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Yes, Nina. I can make friends.

kaz: can confirm we are friends

Spiderwoman: Is this a bromance beginning?

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: We are not in any sort of romance. I don't know where you'd get that inane idea.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Gay people aren't even real. Like taxes. And debt.

★Sharpshooter★: Matt, do you not pay your taxes?

can't catch these hands: debt is real and I think it's crippling for you matt

can't catch these hands: maybe even crippling your brain function

waffle_bitch: gottem

waffle_bitch: nice one, wylan

kaz: okay im not gay, but ill tell you right now Matt, gay people are very real

kaz: we are surrounded by them

Spiderwoman: Kaz, I think that's the first time you capitalized anything…

can't catch these hands: oooo

kaz: shut up

★Sharpshooter★: I'm still hung up in the fact that Matt doesn't pay his taxes

waffle_bitch: no he does I think he doesn't realize they're called taxes

Spiderwoman: I guess I should contribute to Kaz's selfie idea, so here's me

Spiderwoman: [IMAGE]

★Sharpshooter★: :o ✨✨✨👏👏👏😤😤

waffle_bitch: :0 qUEEN

kaz: yeah that's inej alright

can't catch these hands: u look good

can't catch these hands: im too gay im sorry

Spiderwoman: Thanks gays

Spiderwoman: Guys*

★Sharpshooter★: Lol still accurate either way

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Isn't guy a term that only includes guys?

waffle_bitch: matt what rock u living under

waffle_bitch: it's been gender neutral since like 2015

Spiderwoman: Bitch

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah

waffle_bitch: oooh nice one inej *high fives inej*

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Whatever.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I have to study, so I'm off for the day.

waffle_bitch: lol imagine studying

★Sharpshooter★: Nina! You have to study if you want to pass!

waffle_bitch: this is true

Spiderwoman: I can help you study if you would like. I know we're probably not the same major, but I have note taking tips and tricks and organization stuff if you want it?

waffle_bitch: smart & pretty & organized???

waffle_bitch: im marrying u

waffle_bitch: ur my wife now

Spiderwoman: I'll take that as a yes

waffle_bitch: oh it was definitely a yes


	3. Chapter 3

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I just realized. I know what all of you look like, except for Wylan.

waffle_bitch: yeah ur right for once

★Sharpshooter★: Actually, yeah

★Sharpshooter★: What do you look like, Wylan?

waffle_bitch: if ur not comfortable with sharing that's totally fine

kaz: oh i would like to know too

can't catch these hands: im nothing special

waffle_bitch: wylan please

waffle_bitch: im begging u

★Sharpshooter★: Please? For me? 🥺

can't catch these hands: okay so here's me

can't catch these hands: [IMAGE]

waffle_bitch: babyyy aww ur so cute

waffle_bitch: we're getting married

can't catch these hands: but im gay

waffle_bitch: that doesn't mean we can't get group chat married

★Sharpshooter★: Back off, Nina

★Sharpshooter★: I'm the only one who can group chat marry him

★Sharpshooter★: You have Inej

Spiderwoman: This is true. Looking good, Wylan.

can't catch these hands: thanks

★Sharpshooter★: Okay this might sound a little weird but you're really attractive in that picture

can't catch these hands: :o

can't catch these hands: will u group chat marry me?

★Sharpshooter★: Of course!!

waffle_bitch: when's the group chat wedding

can't catch these hands: in 3 minutes

★Sharpshooter★: Wait, no make it 6, I gotta get ready

can't catch these hands: oh okay okay

waffle_bitch: wait I never had my gc wedding with my gc wife!!!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: GC Wife? Baby, what?

waffle_bitch: don't worry matt i still love u

kaz: ill gc marry you

kaz: but it's not gay i just think since everyone else is marrying we should do it as revenge

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: It is true.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: But I'm not sure. I don't think I want to GC marry you.

kaz: it's not a real marriage it's kinda like a joke

★Sharpshooter★: OKAY

★Sharpshooter★: It's time for my wedding.

Spiderwoman: Gay rights!

waffle_bitch: gay rights!!!!

kaz: ',:)

kaz: you guys are right, gay time really has no end

Spiderwoman: Especially when you're a lesbian.

kaz: i feel like this was my fault you're gay

Spiderwoman: Lol, you can't turn people gay. It was one of the reasons of our break up, but I assure you I was always a lesbian.

waffle_bitch: gay rights!!! 

waffle_bitch: in all seriousness I'm so proud of you for saying that 👏👏👏

★Sharpshooter★: Aww, me too

★Sharpshooter★: I don't know anyone here all that well, except Kaz, but I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship

can't catch these hands: agreed

kaz: yeah that takes some serious balls to say

kaz: nice one, inez

★Sharpshooter★: I think that's his way of saying thanks

Spiderwoman: Yeah, I've dated him long enough to know the signs.

Spiderwoman: Thank you too, Kaz. But please never refer to it as "serious balls" again.

Spiderwoman: That was terrible.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: This is touching.

can't catch these hands: matt is banned from being around everyone

waffle_bitch: yeah we're having a moment smh matt

waffle_bitch: either join in or stay out of the char until we're done

waffle_bitch: chat*

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Sad.

★Sharpshooter★: Okay guys, didn't we have a wedding to get to?

waffle_bitch: yeah mine bc I asked Inej first

can't catch these hands: but i gotta marry jesper :(((

waffle_bitch: you will get to after my wedding, son

waffle_bitch: lol im adopting u ur my son

waffle_bitch: wait how old is everyone in here?

kaz: 21

Spiderwoman: 20

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I am twenty, and so is Nina.

★Sharpshooter★: 20

can't catch these hands: im 19

waffle_bitch: ok so i can't adopt u but ur still group baby,,, soooo

waffle_bitch: im the fairy godmother im here to help u with all ur ✨ life problems ✨

can't catch these hands: what's up im wylan im 19 and i never learned how to fucking read

★Sharpshooter★: Oh I love that vine!

can't catch these hands: no im actually dylexic

waffle_bitch: oh, so that's why he was so mad at matt

waffle_bitch: lol

kaz: i actually didn't know this rip

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: [IMAGE]

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: [IMAGE]

★Sharpshooter★: wHyyy 😭😭

★Sharpshooter★: Is this the guys from Lego Ninjago??

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Wait, shoot. I didn't mean to send this here.

kaz: it's too late Matt u scarred us all

waffle_bitch: imma have to agree, sorry babe

Spiderwoman: But… they're Legos…?

can't catch these hands: lmao they make Lego porn?

waffle_bitch: why, are you interested?

waffle_bitch: Is there something u should tell us wylan?

can't catch these hands: i wanna know if they make some of master wu

★Sharpshooter★: This is so cursed 😭😭😭

Spiderwoman: Okay, well I'm going to go do something else, I've been scarred.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: It's Sensei Wu.

can't catch these hands: idc i don't even watch the show

can't catch these hands: lego bricks with thicc priccs is funny to me

waffle_bitch: u have a problem

kaz: thicc priccs

★Sharpshooter★: noooooo 😭😭

★Sharpshooter★: I never want to read "Lego bricks with thicc priccs" again

waffle_bitch: lego bricks with thicc priccs

★Sharpshooter★: AAAAAAAA

kaz: im with Jesper wtf is even happening

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I was trying to scar someone other than this chat, but this was worth it.

★Sharpshooter★: i hate you

★Sharpshooter★ has left Heist Plan

waffle_bitch: oh shit

kaz renamed Heist Plan to Lego bricks with thicc priccs

can't catch these hands: okay it was funny at first but uh

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: There's none of Sensei Wu.

kaz: oh that's why you got quiet

waffle_bitch: somehow that's so much worse

waffle_bitch has added ★Sharpshooter★ to Lego bricks with thicc priccs

★Sharpshooter★: OKAY SUBJECT CHANGE

waffle_bitch: okay

★Sharpshooter★: We always do crackhead activities, but I don't feel like a know a whole lot about you guys

★Sharpshooter★: How about everyday we reveal something dumb about ourselves

waffle_bitch: oh u said about ourselves i was gonna say Matt

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: What would you suggest we reveal?

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Nina!

waffle_bitch: gottem

can't catch these hands: i think that's a great idea jesper !

kaz: ^

★Sharpshooter★: ok ok I'll go first: Last names

★Sharpshooter★: Mine is Fahey

waffle_bitch: Zenik

waffle_bitch: im nina zenik

kaz: lol y'all know mine already

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I don't

kaz: brekker

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: That's a surprisingly good last name.

waffle_bitch: oh bromance

can't catch these hands: gay

★Sharpshooter★: gay

waffle_bitch: lol jynx

kaz: inej isn't here but it's ghafa for when she scrolls up and sees this

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Matthias Helvar, at your service.

★Sharpshooter★: I feel like I called that

★Sharpshooter★: Like I knew it was gonna be something like that

waffle_bitch: oh yeah it's a super boring last name that makes him sound like a thor protagonist

★Sharpshooter★: Wouldn't that just be Thor?

waffle_bitch: besides thor

can't catch these hands: lol

kaz: wylan do you want to tell them your last name or should i

can't catch these hands: i will

can't catch these hands: van eck

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Like the governor?

★Sharpshooter★: That's how Kaz met you at the governor's mansion

waffle_bitch: Jan van eck is ur dad?

can't catch these hands: yeah

kaz: oh yeah the governor is his dad

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I feel like I should be more surprised

★Sharpshooter★: I'm surprised

can't catch these hands: what can I say? I'm surprising

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I'm tired, I think I'm going to sleep.

waffle_bitch: okay it's like 12 am, this was fun 👊😔

waffle_bitch: y'all sleep

waffle_bitch: or I will make you sleep 

★Sharpshooter★: She makes a good case

★Sharpshooter★: Night guys! ✨💕

can't catch these hands: its my heart im catching it

kaz: lol nina I don't sleep but you right

kaz: it's time for this chat to rest

waffle_bitch: night

can't catch these hands: goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third update in the span of two weeks?? Wow someone's hyped lmaooo
> 
> But thank you anyone that's been reading! I hope you're having fun!


	4. Chapter 4

kaz: how do people know if they're gay or not

waffle_bitch: ??? wdym

can't catch these hands: is there something u wanna tell us

kaz: no

kaz: i'm just curious about how people know

kaz: is it like a sudden thing like your sitting there and your like "oh shit I'm gay" or is it gradual, like you slowly realize?

can't catch these hands: you're*

waffle_bitch: you're*

kaz: ajfheych

Kaz: no i'm serious tho

can't catch these hands: it's different for everyone, but for me i realized i'd only ever seen girls as friends, and im not really attracted to them and i don't want to kiss them or hold them or anything

can't catch these hands: it was a really slow and gradual realization, so im not attracted to girls at all

can't catch these hands: guys on the other hand…

kaz: wait no you're gonna say something cursed

can't catch these hands: i want to drink them

can't catch these hands: u're damn right I was

waffle_bitch: lmaoooo 

waffle_bitch: for me it was a little different how I realized i was bi

kaz: oh?

waffle_bitch: yeah, i was like 16 or something and I thought I was straight, as u do, and then

waffle_bitch: I just realized that if a girl asked me out I wouldn't say no

can't catch these hands: why do I detect a thirsty statement

waffle_bitch: also boobs are hot

kaz: rudhdhsgdhdbeyduc nO

can't catch these hands: oh yup there it is

can't catch these hands: we can actually hangout if u wanna discuss this seriously though?

waffle_bitch: oh me too! I wanna meet wylan fr fr I'm his fairy godsister

can't catch these hands: I thought it was fairy godmother?

waffle_bitch: yeah but I'm not old enough to be ur mom rip

kaz: i guess we can hangout

kaz: where tho

can't catch these hands: idk

kaz: come to my apartment??

kaz: ill send my address

can't catch these hands: sounds good to me

waffle_bitch: can't wait to meet u in person wy

can't catch these hands: thanks??

* * *

The doorbell to Kaz's apartment rings, and he lets in Nina.

“Do you know when Wylan will be here?” She asks, obviously excited.

“I'm not sure,” Kaz shrugs and leads her to the couch, taking a seat.

“That's okay,” She shrugs as well, taking a seat on said couch and placing her hands in her lap. “Anyways, tell mama what's bothering you.”

“Ew, Nina, that's gross.”

“No, seriously! I want to know more about where your thoughts are coming from.”

“I'm not sure, I was just thinking. Since everyone on the chat seems so sure they're gay in one way or another. Except Matt.”

“Matt is a mess and don't let him tell you otherwise,” Nina grins and shakes her head. “I'm dating him. I know from experience.”

“He doesn't seem like one. How long have you two been dating again?” Kaz asks.

“A year?” Nina thinks. “Maybe more, but I don't know if we'll continue to be dating…”

“Oh?”

“Well, the thing is, he's actually a mess. I know it's his personality, but sometimes he says really insensitive things. I don't think he realizes it though.”

“Okay, Nina, that can't be the only reason. You've been dating this guy for a year, 'he's rude' isn't going to suffice for me. I'm rude.”

“Hell yeah you are,” Nina laughs. “Okay, fine. So it's been this way for a few months, and I just, I don't know, stopped liking him? Like he's an amazing friend and I love spending time with him, but date nights just feel more like best friend time.”

“Then break up with him,” Kaz replies. “It seems simple.”

“I don't want to hurt him,” Nina defends.

“You'll hurt him a lot more for leading him on.”

Nina chews her lip, seemingly in thought. The doorbell rings.

“Think about it,” Kaz adds, standing up to answer the door.

“Hey,” Wylan waves.

“Come in,” Kaz opens the door wider to let him in and shuts it behind him. He leads the ginger to the couch.

Wylan sees Nina and takes a seat in the chair opposite of the couch. Kaz remembers he's shy and resists the urge to facepalm at himself. How is he going to get them to interact? _Especially_ when he already sent Nina into a dilemma?

Nina seems to still be considering her options.

The silence is awkward, dragging on. Kaz looks at Nina who is still chewing on her lip and looking into space, and then to Wylan who meets his gaze and gives him a tiny shrug.

“Didn't we come here to talk about me?” Kaz throws out, to break the awkward silence.

“Kinda rude, Kaz. That's a Matt moment right there,” Nina shakes her head.

Wylan tries to hold back a laugh, but it doesn't work, and he lets out a small noise of amusement.

“Oh! Wylan! I don't know how I didn't see you there. It's nice to meet you in person,” Nina grins, her usual cheer coming back.

“Nice to meet you too,” Wylan replies quietly.

“You're a lot different in person, wow. Where's all that roast energy?”

“It's hidden, so it's unexpected,” Kaz interjects. “You have not seen him roast in person. Pray that it doesn't happen to you.”

Nina and Wylan laugh at that.

“Okay, you're right, but we have to to talk about you,” Nina says, looking at Kaz. Wylan fidgets with his fingers in his chair. “So the gay thing. Could you be considering you're not completely straight?”

“I don't want to label myself. I don't want to decide something, just to realize I was wrong and I've mislabeled myself. Or what if I say I'm gay and still like girls?”

“Bisexual? That's what it's for…” Nina shrugs. Wylan smirks from his spot.

“Labels sometimes change,” Wylan offers. “It's okay that they change. You might have been straight before, or you might not have, but now that you're not labelled as straight, that doesn't change who you are. You can be straight, and still be Kaz. You can be bi, and still be Kaz. You can be gay and still be Kaz.”

“No matter what you are, you're still our friend. Remember that people change. Maybe one day you'll wake up to realize you like guys. If that happens, you're still Kaz. Labels may change, but you're you no matter what.”

Nina beams. Kaz blinks. That's the most he's heard Wylan speak, ever. It's reassuring to know that no matter what sexuality he is, his friends will be there for him.

“I meant what I said I'm adopting you in one context or another.”

Wylan gives her a smile back.

“Y'know what, I'll take that adoption.”

“I should've never introduced you two,” Kaz shakes his head.

“It's too late, you can't stop us,” Nina smirks. “Expect a whole lot of meddling to come from us, the dream team.”

Wylan nods in agreement, “The dream team.”

Kaz laughs.

“Okay, okay, so back to the issue at hand. I can change labels and it's fine? Even if I label myself but then it's not correct after time?”

“Yeah, of course dude,” Nina replies. “Even though you're born with your sexuality and you can't change it, sometimes the sexuality itself changes, or you just become more aware of yourself. I know plenty of people who have been straight, and then decided they were gay, and then realized they were bi. There's no harm in changing a label. You don't even have to label yourself. You could just call yourself questioning.”

Kaz nods. That makes sense. 

“I just said this because I realized that this guy I know is kind of attractive? But it's only him. Not really any other guys,” He admits.

“Oh?” Nina leans in, and Kaz sees that Wylan seems interested too.

“I'm not telling you, it's complicated.”

“Okay, so mystery guy, what do you find so attractive?” Nina inquires.

“He's got like these really bright blue eyes and blonde hair and he's kind of buff and thicc… it's not a crush, definitely. We barely know each other. But I did think that he's got some good genes. Wait– why am I telling you this?”

“Because I asked,” Nina replies.

“No, I mean, how did you get me to reply like that?”

“Magic,” Wylan inputs, and Nina laughs. “Maybe you see him as objectively attractive? Not necessarily, like, hot-hot but like, he has a nice bone structure?”

Kaz thinks for a moment. “Yeah, that sounds good. Can you guys stop interrogating me now?”

“Yeah,” Nina replies. “We can stop.”

“I brought over my Switch and Smash Bros, up for a game?” Wylan offers.

“Always,” Kaz gives Wylan a cocky expression.

“You're on,” Nina adds.

The group plays Smash Bros, until it's time for Nina and Wylan to go.

Kaz learns that Nina mains Sheik, Zelda, and Zero-Suit Samus and is a dirty item cheater.

He also learns that Wylan mains Ridley, MegaMan, King K. Rool and Pit and that he's ruthless when it comes to explosion-based items.

As he goes to bed that night, he thanks whatever higher power that be for his friends. He's glad he's met them.

He pointedly does not think about the guy that he's attracted to. He definitely does not think about how he's, in Wylan's word, "hot-hot".

Kaz spends five hours, _not_ thinking about Matthias.

Everything is okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsies, that moment when I accidentally write non-chatfic character development parts


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for Avatar ending spoilers, if you're watching that, and more Lego Ninjago talk rip

★Sharpshooter★: Anyone on?

Spiderwoman: I am, if you wanna talk or something

★Sharpshooter★: okay so like

★Sharpshooter★: I was watching avatar

★Sharpshooter★: and I'm not satisfied with the ending

Spiderwoman: What do you mean? You got Kataang and Zuko asked about his mom, so that's fine

Spiderwoman: Though I'm more of a Ty Lee and Mai fan than Kataang

★Sharpshooter★: Oh, they're a cool ship. Not really my thing tho

★Sharpshooter★: ok ok ok ok ok so the reason why I wasn't satisfied is that we didn't learn anything about his mom. Like sure, he asked, but that was it

★Sharpshooter★: we didn't get any kind of answer

Spiderwoman: I mean yeah, I guess

★Sharpshooter★: and then Kataang, which I kind of shipped, it happened, but they talked nothing out. Last time Katara pushed away aang after he kissed her and then she didn't want it and then they DIDN'T TALK ANYTHING OUT AND JUST KISSED LIKE WH

★Sharpshooter★: these are cHildREN

Spiderwoman: Aang is like twelve, yes

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: I thought the ending sounds fine.

★Sharpshooter★: you heathen

Spiderwoman: I mean it was a little bit of a letdown, but I enjoyed the show enough that it was fine.

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: Thank you for spoiling, by the way.

★Sharpshooter★: but they didn't mention tOPHS PARENTS EVER AGAIN IM GONNA

Spiderwoman: Okay, he's banned from speaking

★Sharpshooter★: you don't understand

★Sharpshooter★: I'm very upset

Spiderwoman: it'll be okay

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: I started watching Lego Ninjago.

Spiderwoman: no

★Sharpshooter★: wh

waffle_bitch: lego Ninjago???

can't catch these hands: more like gaygo ninjago

★Sharpshooter★: we're all legal adults, why are you watching Lego Ninjago??

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: Because it's good. Season one wasn't that great, but season two is better. I'm only on season three episode one though.

kaz: i have so many questions

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: Watch it with me!

waffle_bitch: no

Spiderwoman: No.

★Sharpshooter★: I've seen it.

can't catch these hands: already seen it and jay is a bicon

★Sharpshooter★: I liked Cole, but Jay was pretty cool

Spiderwoman: Okay then

kaz: i'll watch it with you

waffle_bitch: wh

Xx~God_and_Anime~xX: Okay, I'll call you.

can't catch these hands: next he'll be like "c'mon dress up at the ninjas with me it'll be fun kaz"

★Sharpshooter★: He'll be like, "will you be the Jay to my Cole?"

waffle_bitch: who tf which one is which just call them by their colors

Spiderwoman: ^

can't catch these hands: bc the names are ICONIC ok

can't catch these hands: baby i would love to be the jay to your cole

★Sharpshooter★: lol Exactly! That's how Kaz would respond

can't catch these hands: oh yeah, that's what I meant

waffle_bitch: pffft

Spiderwoman: Now that they're gone watching the homosexual ninja show, we can continue gay hours

waffle_bitch: gay hours!!! :0

can't catch these hands: I think ur really stupid

★Sharpshooter★: W

waffle_bitch: i think ur an ass head 

waffle_bitch: and stupid

can't catch these hands: no 

can't catch these hands: u smell

waffle_bitch: Yeahhhh ;)

waffle_bitch: No

waffle_bitch: Wait

waffle_bitch renamed Lego bricks with thicc priccs to Gross

can't catch these hands: valid

Spiderwoman renamed Gross to You're Gross Nina

waffle_bitch renamed You're Gross Nina to no u 

★Sharpshooter★ renamed no u to Both of you STFU

waffle_bitch renamed Both of you STFU to no

can't catch these hands renamed no to is this flirting??

Spiderwoman renamed is this flirting?? to Shut

waffle_bitch: i never admit to anything

★Sharpshooter★: Even breathing?

waffle_bitch: u have no proof

★Sharpshooter★: Or eating something other than pasta

★Sharpshooter★: Or going outside

waffle_bitch: where is ur proof

can't catch these hands: lol

Spiderwoman: I'm gonna go, I have an essay to finish…

Spiderwoman: Talk to you later

★Sharpshooter★: Bye! Good luck!

waffle_bitch: gl !!! ✨☺️

can't catch these hands: and then there were 3

waffle_bitch: two actually, inej reminded me I gotta finish a paper as well

★Sharpshooter★: Oh, okay. Good luck to you as well!

can't catch these hands: gl!

waffle_bitch: 👋

★Sharpshooter★: So, Wylan, what do you wanna talk about?

can't catch these hands: idk whatever comes up I guess

★Sharpshooter★: Okay so I'm like sitting in my room right

★Sharpshooter★: and then I saw a spider

★Sharpshooter★: so I mustered up my strength and went to pick up the spider

can't catch these hands: that's pretty brave wow

★Sharpshooter★: and then he jumped off the wall onTO MY BED

★Sharpshooter★: and now he's disappeared

can't catch these hands: scary

★Sharpshooter★: You don't understand he's sOMEWHERE HERE

★Sharpshooter★: wait

can't catch these hands: what

★Sharpshooter★: HE'S BACK IM LEAVING

can't catch these hands: ok but where u gonna go

★Sharpshooter★: uh

★Sharpshooter★: to the cafeteria

can't catch these hands: no!

can't catch these hands: only weird people hang out in the cafeteria!!

★Sharpshooter★: I mean sometimes I do?

can't catch these hands: not u I mean

can't catch these hands: oh ur not weird no ur charming

★Sharpshooter★: Wh

can't catch these hands: no, really u are 

can't catch these hands: sending internet love <3

★Sharpshooter★: Oh, thanks!

★Sharpshooter★: You're a really cool friend, Wylan

★Sharpshooter★: I'm glad I met you

can't catch these hands: i'm glad I met u too

can't catch these hands: oh speaking of which u still owe me that dinosaur picture

★Sharpshooter★: You're right! I do!

★Sharpshooter★: Here

★Sharpshooter★: [Image]

can't catch these hands: hot

★Sharpshooter★: lol

★Sharpshooter★: So there you go!

can't catch these hands: thank u lol

★Sharpshooter★: You're welcome!

★Sharpshooter★: We should talk more

can't catch these hands: we should

can't catch these hands: hey Jesper

can't catch these hands: I have a question

kaz: i hate sensei wu he gives me weird vibes

can't catch these hands: ehchdhfh ur still on this??

kaz: nonono u don't understand

★Sharpshooter★: Okay, Kaz. Okay.

kaz: stop sounding so sarcastic

★Sharpshooter★: What did you want to ask me, Wylan?

can't catch these hands: nvm it's fine 

kaz: oh hey idea– i need to organize a meet up

★Sharpshooter★: Since when do you do anything yourself?

kaz: this is true I'll make Nina do it

★Sharpshooter★: Pfft okay, looking forward to it!

can't catch these hands: me too


	6. Chapter 6

Spiderwoman: I HATE mayonnaise with a passion

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I love mayonnaise, why?

can't catch these hands: Matthias more like mayonnaise

can't catch these hands: mayonnaise Matt 

waffle_bitch: wylan we stan ✨👏😤🔥

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Mayonnaise Matt?

Spiderwoman: I think that's a fitting name

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Why is everyone against me?

kaz: i'm on your side

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: At least Kaz supports me!

waffle_bitch: pfft

kaz: oh speaking of support nina you need to arrange a meet up

waffle_bitch: got it but it might take awhile bc exams

can't catch these hands: oh understandable

kaz: ok

Spiderwoman: Have a nice day

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: ??? Is this something I'm missing?

can't catch these hands: ur missing a lot of things matt

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: What?

Spiderwoman: Oh, nice one

can't catch these hands: where's jesper?

waffle_bitch: i think he said something about studying

can't catch these hands: gross

waffle_bitch: tell me about it

Spiderwoman: You guys are irresponsible, jeez

can't catch these hands: ok mom

waffle_bitch: and ur too responsible

kaz: ^

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I think being responsible is good sometimes. There's a time a place for it.

Spiderwoman: I never thought I'd see the day when I agree with Matt. Responsibility is important sometimes. Especially when it comes to studying. You're paying for college, you're not paying for bad grades.

★Sharpshooter★: Why is it so serious in here?! Great points Inej, but this is crack hours smh

waffle_bitch: crack hours!!! Hi jesper!!!!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Oh, bother.

can't catch these hands: ok boomer

kaz: oooohhh he just boomered you

can't catch these hands: ur all boomers

waffle_bitch: even me??

can't catch these hands: …unfortunately yes…

★Sharpshooter★: Even me? ಥ‿ಥ

can't catch these hands: i

can't catch these hands: no

★Sharpshooter★: gottem

kaz: i can't believe I'm a boomer! I go to hot topic!

can't catch these hands: emo grandpa

waffle_bitch: lmaooo why is that accurate

can't catch these hands changed kaz's nickname to emo grandpa

★Sharpshooter★: I can't believe you've done this

emo grandpa: ^

can't catch these hands: it's fresh name time people

waffle_bitch: no i happen to like mine

can't catch these hands: fair enough

can't catch these hands: ill just change mine then

can't catch these hands has changed their nickname to boom clap sound of my heart

waffle_bitch: that is way too long, let me

waffle_bitch changed boom clap sound of my heart's nickname to dynamite

waffle_bitch: how's that

dynamite: oh that's actually pretty nice, thanks

emo grandpa: can I stop being emo grandpa now??

waffle_bitch: no

★Sharpshooter★: No

emo grandpa: smh guys smh

dynamite: Depends, are you changing your personality?

waffle_bitch: wh

waffle_bitch: wylan what's with the grammar and spelling

dynamite: Have you ever wondered what the person on the other side of the phone really truly does and looks like?

waffle_bitch: r u wylans evil twin??

dynamite: Close, but no cigar. Not that smoking is good for you.

★Sharpshooter★: You remind me of my ex, mysterious stranger. And it's kind of weird

dynamite: Has it occurred to you, that I am perhaps your ex?

waffle_bitch: wtf is this tea

★Sharpshooter★: I don't know wh

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Okay, hold on. The only one allowed to bully and weird out this group is me. Back off.

waffle_bitch: he does care :')

waffle_bitch: i knew u liked them too matt

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Of course I do. Even Wylan. Though I haven't been in this group very long, I've come to be endeared by the busy chat.

waffle_bitch: awww matttt

emo grandpa: …

emo grandpa: thanks

waffle_bitch: awww that's a big reaction from kaz :))))

★Sharpshooter★: wait but who tf is on Wylan's phone??

dynamite: Wow, you guys really aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

dynamite: I'm his twin. Not telling you my name though! ;)

waffle_bitch: dumb bitch!

emo grandpa: yeah we'll just call you dumb bitch

emo grandpa: this is what you get for messing with wylan okay i may not seem like it but he's a good friend of mine

Spiderwoman: Wait, if Wylan is the governor's son, shouldn't his twin's name be somewhere on Google?

dynamite: Well, well, you guys seem fairly hostile.

★Sharpshooter★: omg

★Sharpshooter★: It's Kuwei.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Who's kuwei?

dynamite: Me!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I'm calling him dumb bitch.

waffle_bitch: yesss mattt ur doing good today

emo grandpa: me too

dynamite: Surprise, you guys aren't polite.

dynamite: Oh, wait. I already expected that.

dynamite: So this is who my little brother has been talking to. Interesting.

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah, well. Did you really think you'd get polite after how you treated me?

waffle_bitch: we actually know nothing about it

Spiderwoman: Yeah, I have no idea what he's talking about

dynamite: No, no. Do go on in your confusion. I find it hilarious.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Do go on in your

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I have nothing

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: How does Wylan make it look so easy?

waffle_bitch: give wylan back his phone, thot

waffle_bitch: i demand it to be so!

emo grandpa: me too!!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Kuwei? More like go away!

waffle_bitch: matt,,, roasted??? :0

emo grandpa: wylan really rubbed off on you, huh?

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Oh, hush up.

dynamite: I'll have you know

dynamite: hfhhsasaheoioEddhf

dynamite: fjdhdchdyeaicbowkxv

Spiderwoman: What's happening?

waffle_bitch: yo this better be wylan and kuwei fighting for the phone otherwise i have no answer

★Sharpshooter★: You can do it, Wylan!

dynamite: im back

dynamite: no thanks to my asshole brother

waffle_bitch: ur back!!!

★Sharpshooter★: Welcome back!!! ^-^

Spiderwoman: Welcome back

emo grandpa: wb i guess

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: This really shows how much we need to all have a meetup, just so we can meet the people we've been becoming friends with.

Spiderwoman: I agree.

waffle_bitch: im working on it. I'll text the plans out when im done I promise.

dynamite: u better

★Sharpshooter★: ^

★Sharpshooter★: Still, it's good to have you back, Wy

dynamite: i can't believe you ever dated my brother

dynamite: ew

★Sharpshooter★: It's a tale, that's for sure

★Sharpshooter★: I'll tell you some other time, I'm getting a headache

waffle_bitch: me too actually

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: We've had enough drama for today, that's for sure

emo grandpa: ^


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina and Matt break up. Matt is hurt. More shenanigans happen. Kaz comforts Matt. Everything's a mess.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: That was kind of weird. Does anyone know how Kuwei treated Jesper?

emo grandpa: apparently one time he looked at his phone on a date for a long time and jesper thought it meant he wasn't interested and then got mad and broke it off

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: People are really that sensitive?

emo grandpa: it's jesper idk man

emo grandpa: did you know he's from texas

dynamite: :0 ✨

waffle_bitch: imagine being a cowboy

waffle_bitch: yee yee i gotta pee

Spiderwoman: ?

waffle_bitch: idk it rymed

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: You mean rhymed?

dynamite: exposed

waffle_bitch: oh hey Matt speaking of u i gotta see u in person I have something to say

waffle_bitch: it's serious

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Okay, where?

waffle_bitch: my apartment? Maybe?

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Okay

dynamite: oooo

dynamite: good luck nina! 😌✨

* * *

Nina waits nervously by her door, pacing. Her roommate is out, which is good since that would be really weird if she was here during this. Nina is going to break up with Matt. It's not right to lead him on and it doesn't feel the same anymore. She's not sure she likes him like that anymore.

It's only fair.

Inhaling through her nose, she takes a look at her door, waiting for the doorbell to ring. He exhales dramatically, when nothing happens. This is absolutely nerve wracking, her gut feels all twisted up inside.

What if he's upset? 

He's Matt, of course he'll be upset.

She takes a few steps towards the sofa and turns around.  _ Whatever you do, Nina, don't do the "it's not you, it's me". That's terrible and awful and rude– what am I supposed to say though? _ Nina frets.

She's not really sure how one goes about doing this. Should she make tea? Muffins? Something? Should she–

The doorbell rings.

Nina stops pacing and heads to the door, her heart in his throat. It's beating wildly, and her ears are filled with the sound of it.

Shit.

He's here.

Nina opens the door to reveal Matthias, standing in all his blonde-hair-norse-god glory. He's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and he grinning at Nina confidently. She almost feels bad doing this.

“Come in, and take a seat on the couch,” Nina offers.

“I thought you had something important to talk to me about?” Matthias asks, tilting his head.

“I do, I just–” Nina stops, running a hand through her long brown hair and sighing. How does one go about this?

“You just…?” Matthias prompts, raising an eyebrow.

Nina takes a deep breath, meeting his blue eyes with her own. She places her hands in her back pockets, and looks down before meeting his eyes again.

“We need to break up.”

Matthias looks shocked. His blue eyes widen, and he takes a strap back.

“We… Wh– Why?”

“I don't feel the connection anymore. I'm really sorry,” Nina pleads, “I would love to still be friends with you, you're an amazing guy. I just don't think I like you like that anymore– If that makes sense.”

She blows out a breath. She had layed all her cards on the table. It's all in Matthias's hands now.

He blinks, looking away from her. He mostly looks shocked, his arms unconsciously cross over his chest. Nina can tell she's hurt him, and she feels bad. Ugh. Gross. Feelings.

“I would like to be friends with you too still, if that's okay,” Matthias eventually says, the hurt swimming in his eyes.

“Matt, I–”

“Don't,” He stops her. “I can't hear this now. Not from you.”

“I– okay,” Nina concedes, feeling awful. It had to be done, dragging it on would be worse.

Still, she feels like a villain.

“I'm leaving now, don't try and stop me. I need some time,” Matthias says, and with that he leaves Nina alone with her thoughts.

Why does she feel so awful?

* * *

emo grandpa: what do you think they're talking about

dynamite: its none of ur business

emo grandpa: it is too they're my friends

dynamite: stay out of it, kaz

Spiderwoman: Stay out of what?

dynamite: none of ur business

emo grandpa: r00d

Spiderwoman: I'm concerned. I feel like it should be my business if it involves my friends, even if I haven't met half of them.

dynamite: @★Sharpshooter★ a little help? Plz?

★Sharpshooter★: What's up?

dynamite: this chat is too serious

★Sharpshooter★: Ohhh I gotchu

★Sharpshooter★: I'm petting a dog tho I'm a bit preoccupied

★Sharpshooter★: [IMAGE]

★Sharpshooter★: She's adORABLE OKAY???!!! 🥺😭✨👊😌

dynamite: dog!!! :0

emo grandpa: why am i friends with idiots

dynamite: bc ur also an idiot

Spiderwoman: ^

Spiderwoman renamed Shut to Idiot Group

dynamite: valid

emo grandpa: can't argue with that

★Sharpshooter★: me neidhvr

dynamite: r u dying

★Sharpshooter★: petting anorhrr god

emo grandpa: you're petting a god???

Spiderwoman: Lol

dynamite: dog*

dynamite: smh guys understand petting a dog and texting

★Sharpshooter★: thaK YU

dynamite: see, i understand him!!

emo grandpa: gay

Spiderwoman: Gay

emo grandpa: jynx

dynamite: wh

dynamite: noooo

emo grandpa: okay, suuuure

Spiderwoman: No, I don't want to buy your car! Please stop calling!

dynamite: ???

emo grandpa: im not selling my car what

Spiderwoman: Sorry, wrong convo

dynamite: ur literally texting the scammers wtf

dynamite: kaz moment

Spiderwoman: Shut

emo grandpa: this is a kaz moment lmao

Spiderwoman: Oh, shush

Spiderwoman: I don't wanna hear it

dynamite: ok kaz

emo grandpa: ok kaz

Spiderwoman: Why am I friends with you two…?

dynamite: bc ur desperate

emo grandpa: bc im hot

Spiderwoman: Those are two very different directions.

dynamite: lmaoo u think?

emo grandpa: if this doesn't describe our friend group idk what does lmaoo

Spiderwoman: Well, I'm off. I gotta do some grocery shopping since my roommate ate everything

dynamite: smh cya

emo grandpa: im out im gonna sleep

dynamite: lies but i won't make u stay, have fun i guess

emo grandpa: thanks

* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

Xx~God_and_anime~xX

hey, r u okay? 

I hope ur good u seemed quiet on the chat.

**Yes, I'm fine.**

**Just dealing with some self loathing.**

**And a bit of questioning what I did wrong.**

Did u kill someone

**Ha!**

**No.**

**I'm just a little down because of the breakup.**

oof, did nina break up with you?

**way to rub it in**

ouch, someone's sore u didn't even capitalize

**Shit up**

**shut***

I would shit up, but im in my bed

maybe later

**Ew, gross.**

ok ok im sorry u know i had to mess with you

but what i was going to say is that ur gonna be okay

i went through this once with inej and we're still best friends

we talk every day

it's gonna hurt and ur gonna be sad, but im here for u if u wanna vent or something

we're friends.

**Wow, Kaz.**

**That's the most I've seen you type.**

**Thank you.**

**I'm really hurting right now, like the rejection and everything, but you being here really seems to help.**

**Thank you again.**

It's no problem, bros before hos ;)

**LOL no but seriously Nina is our friend.**

ik im kidding but i got ur back ok?

**Okay.**

**I'm going to bed, I've got early classes tomorrow.**

**Goodnight, Kaz.**

night, matt


	8. Chapter 8

dynamite: u ever just feel like eating something that's not edible??

dynamite: like bruh I would love to chew on some model magic

waffle_bitch: moOD

waffle_bitch has changed their nickname to psychic

★Sharpshooter★: What's with the nickname change?

psychic: im psychic

dynamite: we can see that

psychic: can u tho

psychic: can u really

★Sharpshooter★: This is text, so no.

★Sharpshooter★: We can't.

psychic: bRUH

psychic: im out

dynamite: smh

★Sharpshooter★: Wow.

★Sharpshooter★: Anyways I found this video and like

★Sharpshooter★: ???

dynamite: send

★Sharpshooter★: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgobmujze60

dynamite: im crying

dynamite: he thinks pokemon helps kids become witches to help satan

dynamite: he honestly would think kaz is satan

emo grandpa: that's bc i am

★Sharpshooter★: Yeah, okay

★Sharpshooter★: Go back to Hot Topic

dynamite: ooooo

emo grandpa: i–

★Sharpshooter★: Gottem

Xx~God_and_anime~xX has left Idiot Group

dynamite: hEY!

dynamite: no one leaves idiot group!

★Sharpshooter★: Here, let me add him back

emo grandpa added Xx~God_and_anime~xX to Idiot Group

★Sharpshooter★: … orrrr you can

★Sharpshooter★: thanks Kaz

Xx~God_and_anime~xX has left Idiot Group

emo grandpa added Xx~God_and_anime~xX to Idiot Group

dynamite: sTOP

emo grandpa: stop leaving :(

emo grandpa: ur making me sad

★Sharpshooter★: you're always sad

emo grandpa: okay facts but also it makes me sadder

Xx~God_and_anime~xX has left Idiot Group

dynamite: bruh

★Sharpshooter★: bruh

Spiderwoman: Bruh

dynamite: oh hi inej

dynamite: any reason why mayonnaise matt is leaving

emo grandpa added Xx~God_and_anime~xX to Idiot Group

★Sharpshooter★: Not that I know of???

emo grandpa: hold on ill dm

★Sharpshooter★: Okay, lmk what happens

///

PRIVATE CHAT

dynamite

Want me to tell you what Kaz is saying?

**yes pls**

**can't stand not knowing the tea**

Honestly mood

Ok ok ok sO

Matt is evasive at best and literally silent at worst.

He's avoiding Kaz's probing, but it's something to do with his and Nina's breakup. 

**ew**

Tell me about it

**ok so idc anymore they can sort it out**

**like as much as we're friends**

**it's also not my problem or my business**

**and so, I'll stay out of it**

**😌🙏**

Lol totally

I get it, dw

**ur totally worried**

what

No I'm not

**u replied really fast there Jesper**

**kinda sus**

Oh, shush

I'm not sus

**ok kaz**

Wow you really just pulled that card

**yeah I did**

**whatre u gonna do about it**

**cry?**

yes

**wow**

**did not expect u to admit that**

**dw ill hold u in my strong manly arms**

**u can cry on my shoulder bb ;)**

Wow 😳

Pretty forward there, aren't we?

**DhghfhfhfghchShshhSHDHEUCHVUSPA**

**yeah so that was kuWEI AGAIN**

**bitchass**

Lmaooo

No, but really, I didn't say I didn't like the idea

Kuwei seems to get on your phone pretty easily, kinda sus ngl

**what idea**

**no he doesn't**

**we always fight for it**

Riiiight

Like he doesn't have his own phone and friends

the idea of us 👀😳

jk jk jk I'm joking obviously

haha

wow

pfft

sorry sorry

**lol**

**Bold of u to assume kuwei has friends**

**but**

**Im not that opposed**

**hypothetically speaking**

Oh hot

We could go on like

Hypothetical dates and stuff

Y'know to keep our dating skills sharp and stuff

**understandable**

**when would this hypothetical date be?**

Idk

**hypothetically on a hypothetical Friday at hypothetical o'clock**

Stop saying hypothetically, I can and will cry

Oh, looks like Kaz finally got it out of Matt.

**got what out of Matt?**

you know ;)

NO LMAO JK

But actually Matt said he was upset bc of his break-up with Nina

Like he said he felt bad like it was all his fault

Or something like that

He's feeling kind of down on himself

**ha!**

**kaz momento**

**Jax moment***

**kaz moment****

**I can't type I'm illiterate**

That's me it's all good

Actually though, Matt deserves time to heal I agree

**maybe we should just leave him out of the chat for a bit?**

**and add him back when he's ready?**

That sounds like the smartest thing I've ever heard. :)

Let's do it, 100%

Thanks, Wylan.

**no, thank u for talking to me**

**don't be a stranger, my dms are always open 😌✨**

Lmao I won't be

I'll dm you next time I think of something not smart that I need to share

**pls do**

**im looking forward to it**

Alright, I gotta sleep

Night cutie

fuck

Wylan*

My phone autocorrected, y'know?

**right**

**night jesper**

**sweet dreams**

///

psychic: have u ever like wondered if u made the wrong choice and lay in bed thinking about it

Spiderwoman: Yes

Spiderwoman: All the time

Spiderwoman: and that's a part of life. Every choice you make is about you growing up

Spiderwoman: they may not always be the smartest or the greatest, but what's done is done. You've made your choice. You can't change it now.

Spiderwoman: but, you can live with it. If you've made a really awful choice, you can always try and make amends. Most times it's like

Spiderwoman: "so I told Brandon I would meet him at the mall and wear my favorite pink crocs but then what if he thinks I'm weird for my crocs oh nOoOo"

psychic: i mean yeah ig

psychic: ur right tho, all I can do is try and make amends and live with my choices

psychic: so my best option rn is to give him space

Spiderwoman: him?

emo grandpa: a

emo grandpa: sorry ignore me I was boutta lurk

psychic: u messed up then, didn't u

Spiderwoman: oooooo

psychic: gottem

emo grandpa: oh shush

emo grandpa: also i feel like it's been too long inej u need a nickname change

Spiderwoman: I like Spiderwoman.

Spiderwoman: Before we switch topics Nina, you're going to be okay. I promise.

psychic: thanks, inej

psychic: that means a lot 🥺✨

psychic: im off to try and sleep

Spiderwoman: Goodnight, Nina.

emo grandpa: gn nina

psychic: gn y'all 😌💖

emo grandpa: so anyways losers

emo grandpa: ur nickname inej

emo grandpa: hand it over

Spiderwoman: You're going to have to take it from me

emo grandpa changed Spiderwoman's nickname to in the dead of the night

in the dead of the night changed their nickname to Spiderwoman

emo grandpa changed Spiderwoman's nickname to Killing Stalking

Killing Stalking changed their nickname to Spiderwoman

emo grandpa changed Spiderwoman's nickname to Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman: Why is it always superheroes??

emo grandpa: bc ur my superhero 🤩

Wonder Woman: Aww

Wonder Woman: You've won for now, Kaz.

emo grandpa: hell yeah i have ;)

dynamite: heck*

emo grandpa: hell**

dynamite: heck*** D:<

emo grandpa: hell

dynamite: HECK

emo grandpa: hell

Wonder Woman: Stop.

dynamite: u suck

dynamite: not u inej i mean kaz

dynamite: i love u inej and i think we should gc marry

emo grandpa: ur gay

dynamite: yeah so?

emo grandpa: oh fuck he got me

emo grandpa: i can't oppose this marriage

Wonder Woman: I accept your proposal.

dynamite: i now pronounce us married.

dynamite: wait who am i married too

dynamite: inej and jesper i think

emo grandpa: yeah and im married to no one

dynamite: let's fix that it's wedding time

emo grandpa: two weddings? 😳

dynamite: yeahhhh 😎

emo grandpa: hot

Wonder Woman: Guess it's wedding hours…

dynamite: now I got three hos 🤭✨

Wonder Woman: I think I'm only married to you and Nina.

Wonder Woman: So I'm good.

emo grandpa: i am only married to wylan, but we shall use this union to take over the world

dynamite: only u would say "shall use this union" kaz

dynamite: smh

dynamite: but also agreed, we shall

emo grandpa: yes 

emo grandpa: im boutta head out i got years worth of hw im procrastinating on

dynamite: ok gl

Wonder Woman: Good kuck.

Wonder Woman Good Luck*

dynamite: kuck

dynamite: im cryinh

Wonder Woman: this is a sign that I need to aleep

dynamite: an uncapitalization and a typo??

dynamite: who even ARE U???

Wonder Woman: Oh, shush.

Wonder Woman: Goodnight, Wylan.

dynamite: night mommy

emo grandpa: 🥶

Wonder Woman: NO

Wonder Woman: I LITERALLY HATE YOU NO

Wonder Woman: IF I HEAR THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL COMMIT A MURDER AND IT MIGHT BE YOURS

dynamite: LMAO wow I see how it is

dynamite: i said that bc ur gc mom and u always help ppl with their problems

Wonder Woman: I'm sleeping now.

dynamite: goodnight 


	9. Chapter 9

PRIVATE CHAT

Xx~God_and_anime~xX

hey so it's 4 am

i thought it would be a good idea 

to distract you

since your sleeping you can see it later

so today i learned that 

boomers have boomer acronyms

like TIL which means today i learned

disgusting

also i learned that

there's a marshmellow plant

but marshmellows themselves are made of

geletin

**You're***

**Marshmallow***

**Marshmallows***

**Gelatin***

whatever

that's to much work

**Too***

im crying 

i try to cheer you up

this is the thanks i get??

**Wait, no. I'm sorry if that was rude.**

**I just get frequently annoyed by grammar and spelling, but I didn't intend to upset you.**

no i was kidding

keep being u

but i appreciate the apology

sarcasm/joking is just hard over text

**I usually mess up on tones of things over text. Without the voice inflection, it's rather impossible to discern what people mean. I'm sorry if I do that often.**

np bro

i get it

especially when u type like my grandpa

**I thought you were the "emo grandpa".**

touché

**So you can accent an e but not capitalize?**

**I feel like it's harder to add an accent, to be quite honest.**

omg just use tbh

and also yes yes i can

**"Tbh"? What does that stand for?**

tbh = to be honest

**Oh, okay.**

why are you up anyways

it's like 4 am

**It's only 3:56 A.M.**

right

can't sleep?

**You caught me. I couldn't sleep.**

that's okay

i never sleep

if you ever want to talk, i'm here

and everyone else probably too

i don't think wylan sleeps

like ever

**Lol. Thank you.**

**Definitely if I find myself thinking hard about something I'll come talk to you.**

**And I wouldn't be bothering you?**

ofc not!

come talk to me at anytime 

**I'm going to try and sleep now. Thank you, again.**

**Goodnight, Kaz.**

night

* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

emo grandpa

bro i can literally see u online

what r u doing

**wdym?**

ur not fooling anyone

i thought u were doing hw

**and now im talking to Matt**

**is there a problem?**

no

just

why

**wdym we're friends now**

yeah but he's like

my ex

**i thought you were gonna stay friends??**

ig idk it feels weird that ur being all supportive

usually ur the one like 

"u have an ex?? let's kill him"

**lmao fax**

**no but seriously hes sleeping**

**but i told him**

**that he could come talk to me at any time**

**bc you know i don't sleep**

yeah i do

y'all are friends now?

idk usually ur the most prickyl

so the fact that u are friends with him weirds me out

**im stealing your old mans**

**my mans now**

oh?

kinda hot 🤭

**okay nina**

**i see how it is**

**am i just an object to you**

yeah

lmao no but srsly

still weirded out

**okay ms judgment 🙄**

ok mr homosex

**wow**

**very mature**

i try 😌✨

**lol**

* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

Wonder Woman

it's abt time i slide into ur dms 😎

oh wait u actually sleep

just want u to know that i think

Ur very pretty

No homo tho

seriously pls im sorry im not a creep i swear

  
  


* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

★Sharpshooter★

help i just

slid into inejs dms

n now im scared

**Why?**

Why am I scared or why did i slide in her dms?

**why are you scared?**

**You'll be fine**

**Unless you said something really weird**

...waht is really weird?

**LMAO**

**You're literally fine probably**

**As long as you didn't like say something with wylan energy**

Wylan energy?

**I'm not giving out screenshots but there was an interesting link conversation**

Link conversation? U mean kink right?

**Nope**

**I wish it was a kink conversation**

im sobbing rn jesper

this is cursed

im asking him for screenshots

**Good luck LMAO**

**Seriously**

* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

dynamite

**who do u think is the hottest link**

Out of Legend of Zelda games? 

Probably BOTW link

**no**

**i mean out of people named link**

**this includes abraham lincoln**

**and that guy from good mythical morning**

**and sausage links**

**jack link's**

**literally every link**

That's a lot of links

**my personal favorite link to thirst over**

**is the one from**

**monsters vs aliens**

**missing link**

**hes so hot**

This is some shape of water type shit i–

**no im serious look at him**

Wylan, im sobbing

Look at what's happened to my spellinh

Ots deteriored and its your fault

**is it bad that i think he's hot**

**like mmm i would hit that**

Is this what you think about at 4 am?

**yes**

**look at h i m**

**i would smash this lizard man**

**fish man**

**guy**

**thing**

**is he immortal that's hot**

Wow

This is a sign that you need to sleep

**Is it tho**

**Is it really**

**he's so beautiful n hot**

**i just want to lick him all over**

wylan pls

He's the fish man from a kids movie

Let him vibe without your desert level thirst

**too late**

**already thirsting**

**mmm**

Sobbing

Literally sobbing

* * *

PRIVATE CHAT

dynamite

can i get some screenshots from ur link convo

jesper says they're interesting

**SCREENSHOT 23475637211**

**SCREENSHOT 23475698244**

**SCREENSHOT 45337634355**

**is this enough for u**

jesper is correct

im sobbing

this is illegal u can't thirst over fishmen

**aren't mermaids just fishmen n women?**

this is facts

**also he is clearly above consent age as he makes multiple passes at Susan**

**therefore**

**i am allowed to thirst over him**

hes literally so crusty

he scared me i think he would like

pee in a public pool if he were human

he wouldn't wear deodorant sometimes

hit on people randomly

be a flirt

**hot**

**I would date him**

**he's so mmmm**

wyLAN PLEASE

IM SOBBINH 

VRYING

next ull tell me u thirst over jack from rotg

**to be fair i did when i was in highschool**

_ sobbing _

im–

okay

**bet u thirsted over something cringe**

**like**

**idk what fictional characters u like**

**probably like**

**glee**

EW

nO

I hate glee

**as u should**

this is cursed

**so r u**

**im going to figure out what character u thirst over just u wait**

Im waiting 🤭✨

**ull see 👁️**

will i?

**yes**


	10. Chapter 10

PRIVATE CHAT

Wonder Woman

it's abt time i slide into ur dms 😎

oh wait u actually sleep

just want u to know that i think

Ur very pretty

No homo tho

seriously pls im sorry im not a creep i swear

_12:36 PM_

**Aww, thank you.**

**That's sweet of you. I think you're pretty too.**

Djfhhfufufufug omg thank u !!! 🥺💕💕

no but seriously wot makes u tik

we r finding this out

**I mean, I like cats. I'm a cat person. I have a pet cat named Sasha who's very excitable.**

**I used to want to join the circus but there were none near me.**

**I used to compete in gymnastics when I was younger.**

**And dance.**

ok but most of this stuff is paste tense!!

wbu now??

**I guess I haven't really thought about that.**

**I'm going to college, putting myself through it because it's what everyone does.**

**My major is biology right now, which I enjoy, but I always wonder if I made the wrong choice and if I'll be unhappy I'm the future.**

aww bb

okokok so this is true, a majority of people go to college

ppl always say "tHeReS nO sHaMe iN nOt gOinG" but then it's apparently hard to get a well paying job without college

so i mean F

But also, if you like biology and u see a path from there, it's worth giving it a shot

it might not be fair we have to choose our life careers at a young age, but no one says we can't change our mind later

**Wow, that's really smart.**

I try 🥰

**Thanks, Nina.**

**You've given me a lot to think about.**

no problem love!!

seriously ur amazing, never forget!!!!

**:)**

* * *

emo grandpa: ugh i hate cleaning the bathrooms

emo grandpa: some men just CANNOT aim and i hate it

dynamite: mood

psychic: ladies and jesper, if ur man can't aim then drop him

Wonder Woman: I am disturbed

★Sharpshooter★: Me too, a bit

★Sharpshooter★: but I mean a kinda get it

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Why is there such a thing as Hansoff?

dynamite: ???

psychic: sir

psychic: wtf

★Sharpshooter★: Agreed what is happening

emo grandpa: hans x kristoff

★Sharpshooter★: Why do you–

psychic: I–

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I was just looking at cute Frozen fanart, and then… Hansoff

dynamite: matt im sobbing

dynamite: hate it here

psychic: a cursed ship

psychic: not in my bisexual household

emo grandpa: doesn't work nina, you aren't straight enough

psychic: damn

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: ...They aren't that bad together.

dynamite: that's it

dynamite: im out

dynamite: what's next, frozen yaoi?

★Sharpshooter★: WYALN

★Sharpshooter★: IM CRYIN

dynamite: noooo

dynamite: stop criyinh

emo grandpa: wow i love

emo grandpa: criyinh

dynamite: shut up

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: What's yaoi?

psychic: now I'm criyinh

dynamite: stfu

★Sharpshooter★: Man just said

★Sharpshooter★: "What's yaoi"

★Sharpshooter★: I too am crying

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: What?

emo grandpa: don't worry abt it

dynamite: gay anime men

psychic: WYLAN DON'T

psychic: omfg

emo grandpa: ,,, I–

★Sharpshooter★: 😂😂

★Sharpshooter★: very blunt there wylan

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: WHAT

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: I would never subject myself to watching gay people.

dynamite: homophobia,,, is that u???

dynamite: it's been so long since we last met

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: No!

Xx~God_and_anime~xX It's not homophobia, I just think it's weird to watch a show specifically because there's gay people in it.

psychic: valid ig

dynamite: makes sense but why did u say "subject myself"

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Because, I am simply not gay.

emo grandpa: sobbing

emo grandpa: cryimh

emo grandpa: sobiving

★Sharpshooter★: simply not gay.

★Sharpshooter★: okay.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: What?

★Sharpshooter★: Nothing

dynamite: thinking abt

dynamite: dick

psychic: wshfhxhruc NO

psychic: THAT'S NOT PG IM

dynamite: since when is anything ever pg ;)

★Sharpshooter★: I hate it here

dynamite: LMAO NO but dick grayson

dynamite: the nightwing/robin dude

psychic: suuuure

dynamite: he's like very attractive but also nice like? what?

psychic: literally know nothing about dc comics but sounds lit i guess

emo grandpa: you just said lit >:(

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Nice of you to use the emoji thing of your own face, Kaz.

dynamite: gottem

Wonder Woman: Wow, you guys seem active

psychic: yes bb ! 😘

dynamite: ok horny

★Sharpshooter★: guys I'm literally laughing so hard what

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Yeah, we're pretty active this morning. How are you, Inej?

Wonder Woman: I'm good. Have been better, but I'm good.

psychic: who hurt you???

psychic: send addresses i will b coming for them.

dynamite: damn she used a period

★Sharpshooter★: Nina with their addresses, what will she do?

dynamite: murder

emo grandpa: facts

emo grandpa: still can't believe she said lit

emo grandpa: hate it here

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: You hate it everywhere, isn't that why you're emo?

dynamite: mans took the words riggt out of my mouth

★Sharpshooter★: Good one, matt

Wonder Woman: Lmao

Wonder Woman: I'm just a bit distracted because exams are coming up, and I feel like I don't know anything

psychic: !! :0

psychic: ill help u study!

psychic: cmere !!!

dynamite: ^^^^

dynamite: i may b dyslecic but also consider

dynamite: I'm good at things that aren't english

dynamite: when life gives u melons

emo grandpa: melons?

emo grandpa: i see, a dyslexia typo

dynamite: make melonaide

★Sharpshooter★: That was very smart wow

★Sharpshooter★: I see what you did there

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Interesting play on words, that actually made me laugh.

Wonder Woman: Sounds like a Goodreads review but okay

psychic: 8/10 made me laugh, but hated the main character

psychic: matt in a nutshell

emo grandpa: bet you never give things a 10/10

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: In order to get that, they need to be perfect.

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Most things just aren't perfect.

psychic: okay perfectionist 🙄

dynamite: ok bitch 😈

★Sharpshooter★: LMAO

★Sharpshooter★: Wylan really came for you Matt

Xx~God_and_anime~xX: Huh? No one's coming for me…

emo grandpa: im crying quite literally

eno grandpa: my god you did not just say that _matt im–_

dynamite: it's okay me too kaz

dynamite: sobbing


End file.
